We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. - Aristotle
Showing posts with label Kindness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kindness. Show all posts
Strangers helping strangers
Strangers Helping Strangers (Source: Here)
Even when people are inhumanely cruel, they cannot escape the gaze of a caring world. Time and time again, good people raise money, petition governments, and mobilize resources to rush to the aid of strangers.
Despite all of this progress, despite the opportunity, despite the persistence of goodness that is evident everywhere, everywhere people are yearning for something. A sense of malaise and cynicism has risen. The trust we once had in the leaders of industry and government has fallen. In the last ten years, suicide has increased 28% and rates of stress and depression continue to climb.
With every step forward, we walk further away from the truths that once gave us our bearing. The ancient wisdom that once sustained us has either been forgotten or reduced to clichés. We live in a spiritual wasteland.
Even the religions that once sustained us offer little solace. Religion did not decline because of scientific progress or the cynic’s barbs. “It would be more honest,” Rabbi Heschel noted, “to blame religion for its own defeats. Religion declined not because it was refuted, but because it became irrelevant, dull, oppressive, insipid.”
When the prophets we revere walked upon the earth barefooted or clothed in hemp, they were the radicals and blasphemers. They saw how their churches and synagogues and temples had become more about rules and creeds, about habit and hypocrisy, than about truths we need to live in this world. And as we go about our every day-after-day, trading serenity for productivity and meaning for entertainment, every second is filled.
When Alexander the Great was busy “seeking ends of the world and the Great Outer Sea,” he came upon a naked priest meditating on the shores of the Indus river. The legend varies from storyteller to storyteller and across time, language and culture. But this meeting of a Macedonian king and an ash-covered prophet was a meeting of two separate truths, truths that are each needed.
Alexander looked at the gymnosophist (Greek for naked philosopher) sitting there, impoverished, rags over the rib-thin body, and asked what he was doing. “I am experiencing nothingness,” said the gymnosophist. “What are you doing?” “I am conquering the world,” responded Alexander, and they both laughed. Each thought the other was a fool.
Naked sadhus, Saan people, and Australian aborigines will never hang satellites over the clouds or build microchips the size of a grain of sand. Yet as Matthieu Ricard teaches, so much of western science is a major response to minor needs. “We spend all of our lifetime trying to live to be 100 without losing our teeth,” Wade Davis continues. “The Buddhist spends all his lifetime trying to understand the nature of existence.”
Our scientists, empirical and rigorous in thought, can map the sequence of the genome. But it is the wrinkles on the native shaman’s face that map the contours of bliss. Our business leaders, goal-driven and action-oriented, build industries and profit. But it is the simple tenderness between people, the quiet moments of giving to those in need, that bring us affective prosperity and a reason for living. Turn off your telephone. Walk down by the creek bed and listen. Struggle to find the time-tested truths at the core of every tradition. The church ladies will scoff thinking that you do not understand. Your cynical friends will sneer thinking you’ve abandoned thought and reason and sense. Be patient for they know not what they do.
Look for inequity and never justify your own indifference. Look for what is inconvenient and never settle for self-interest. Make mistakes again and again and again: but do so on the side of kindness and hope. Fill your heart with gratitude. Make time for awe and joy. Forgive the most unforgivable. Love those who disgust you and who’ve broken your heart (they are more than their worst deeds). Lay yourself out open and raw to trust like a sadhu on a riverbank. These are the hardest things we will ever do in our entire lives. I repeat: These are the hardest things we will ever do in our entire lives. But these are the things that make our lives worth living.
Even when people are inhumanely cruel, they cannot escape the gaze of a caring world. Time and time again, good people raise money, petition governments, and mobilize resources to rush to the aid of strangers.
Despite all of this progress, despite the opportunity, despite the persistence of goodness that is evident everywhere, everywhere people are yearning for something. A sense of malaise and cynicism has risen. The trust we once had in the leaders of industry and government has fallen. In the last ten years, suicide has increased 28% and rates of stress and depression continue to climb.
With every step forward, we walk further away from the truths that once gave us our bearing. The ancient wisdom that once sustained us has either been forgotten or reduced to clichés. We live in a spiritual wasteland.
Even the religions that once sustained us offer little solace. Religion did not decline because of scientific progress or the cynic’s barbs. “It would be more honest,” Rabbi Heschel noted, “to blame religion for its own defeats. Religion declined not because it was refuted, but because it became irrelevant, dull, oppressive, insipid.”
When the prophets we revere walked upon the earth barefooted or clothed in hemp, they were the radicals and blasphemers. They saw how their churches and synagogues and temples had become more about rules and creeds, about habit and hypocrisy, than about truths we need to live in this world. And as we go about our every day-after-day, trading serenity for productivity and meaning for entertainment, every second is filled.
When Alexander the Great was busy “seeking ends of the world and the Great Outer Sea,” he came upon a naked priest meditating on the shores of the Indus river. The legend varies from storyteller to storyteller and across time, language and culture. But this meeting of a Macedonian king and an ash-covered prophet was a meeting of two separate truths, truths that are each needed.
Alexander looked at the gymnosophist (Greek for naked philosopher) sitting there, impoverished, rags over the rib-thin body, and asked what he was doing. “I am experiencing nothingness,” said the gymnosophist. “What are you doing?” “I am conquering the world,” responded Alexander, and they both laughed. Each thought the other was a fool.
Naked sadhus, Saan people, and Australian aborigines will never hang satellites over the clouds or build microchips the size of a grain of sand. Yet as Matthieu Ricard teaches, so much of western science is a major response to minor needs. “We spend all of our lifetime trying to live to be 100 without losing our teeth,” Wade Davis continues. “The Buddhist spends all his lifetime trying to understand the nature of existence.”
Our scientists, empirical and rigorous in thought, can map the sequence of the genome. But it is the wrinkles on the native shaman’s face that map the contours of bliss. Our business leaders, goal-driven and action-oriented, build industries and profit. But it is the simple tenderness between people, the quiet moments of giving to those in need, that bring us affective prosperity and a reason for living. Turn off your telephone. Walk down by the creek bed and listen. Struggle to find the time-tested truths at the core of every tradition. The church ladies will scoff thinking that you do not understand. Your cynical friends will sneer thinking you’ve abandoned thought and reason and sense. Be patient for they know not what they do.
Look for inequity and never justify your own indifference. Look for what is inconvenient and never settle for self-interest. Make mistakes again and again and again: but do so on the side of kindness and hope. Fill your heart with gratitude. Make time for awe and joy. Forgive the most unforgivable. Love those who disgust you and who’ve broken your heart (they are more than their worst deeds). Lay yourself out open and raw to trust like a sadhu on a riverbank. These are the hardest things we will ever do in our entire lives. I repeat: These are the hardest things we will ever do in our entire lives. But these are the things that make our lives worth living.
Editor’s Note: This article also appeared in Sean’s own blog, Sean Doyle Speaking and Writing about What Makes Life Worth Living.
Starting Kindness
Here are 15 ideas to get you started now we're in week 2 of 2015:
-
Year of Kindness Box: Create a New Years tradition.
On the first day of the new year, start a Year of Kindness Box.
Throughout the year, fill up the box with: compliments you received,
thank you notes, moments of kindness you witnessed, acts of kindness you
did, inspiring quotes, etc. Then after the year is over, review the
contents!
-
Create a Gratitude Journal: A five-minute a day
gratitude journal can increase your long-term well-being by more than 10
percent. That’s the same impact as doubling your income!" From Happier Human
-
Three Compliments: Compliment the first three people you talk to.
-
52 Thank You Notes: Express your gratitude for the
people in your life, write one thank you note every week to a different
person: Need a quick thank-you note format? Check out The Five Minute Thank You Note.
-
A Kind Twist on Happy Hour: Invite a group of
people you know (friends, family, coworkers) to the happiest of happy
hours and spend one hour doing acts of kindness for others.
-
Positive Sticky Notes: Carry a stack of positive
sticky notes with you wherever I go. Post them when you're somewhere
that needs a little bit more kindness.
-
Morning Kindness: Before you get out of bed, focus
on kindness. Think of a kind motto for your day or text a positive good
morning note to a friend.
-
Daily Positivity: Every day, think of a random person. Send them a positive message (text, email, social media post, phone call, letter, etc.)
-
Volunteer: Think of a cause you care about or a
group in your community that could use some help. Volunteering has some
serious health benefits too.
-
Beautify Your Surroundings: Spend 10 minutes picking up litter in your neighborhood, park or other commonly visited locations.
-
Kind Body Image: Place positive body image sticky notes on dressing room mirrors.
-
Coupon Fairy: Save unused/unwanted coupons and put them next to relevant products next time you're at the grocery store
-
Be Kind to the Earth: Research ways to be kind to the environment and reduce your carbon footprint. Here are seven ideas to get you started.
-
Smile: According to an article from Psychology Today, "Each
time you smile, you throw a little feel-good party in your brain. The
act of smiling activates neural messaging that benefits your health and
happiness."
-
Self-Kindness: Do one kind thing every week for yourself.
Enjoy a treat you love, exercise, eat a healthy meal, or do something
you love and rarely have time to do.
1. Pause at the stop sign
Every time you come to a stop sign or a red light, take a full breath, notice how you are feeling and then wish yourself or another well. “May I be happy and safe. May I live with ease.” Continue saying the words or phrases internally until you are ready to move on or the light changes. When you come to the next stop sign or red light, repeat the practice. With sufficient repetition the stop sign and the red light become cues for cultivating kindness and help establish a habit of kindness.
2. Engage the grocery clerk
When you shop at a grocery store, stand in line for a movie ticket, or get a tank of gas at a full-service station, engage with other people. Internally, extend wishes of goodwill to them. Listen when they talk and gently smile. Such small gestures make people feel more open and kind. By engaging with them, you engage with your best self.
3. Extend to your fellow travelers
If you use the bus, train, or airplane on a regular basis, let the act of taking your seat be a cue to practice kindness or compassion toward your traveling companions. Bring all those traveling with you into your awareness and reflect on how they, like you, have their share of joys and sorrows and want to be happy, peaceful, and free from suffering. Express your wish for their happiness. “May you be happy. May you be safe. May you be free from harm. May you live with ease.”
4. Listen for the ping
We get tons of emails and calendar alerts every day. Use them as reminders to be mindful. On many computers, you can even set the sound to be that of a meditation chime. Every time you hear the alert or see the reminder, pause, take a breath or two, and send yourself thoughts of kindness. You can do the same in the shower. Simply feel the water on your body, pause, take a deep breath, and send yourself and others thoughts of kindness.
5. Connect with someone in need
Establish the intention in your mind to respond with kindness and generosity whenever you meet someone on the street who asks for support. Pause to make contact with him or her and ask how they’re doing and give some money if you like. Or if you believe it is more helpful to give funds to a group that supports the homeless, commit to writing a check at the end of the week or month.
This article also appeared in the February 2015 issue of Mindful magazine.
Subscribe to Mindful's print edition or digital edition.
Read more...
Today's extra habit! OUTPOUR
Follow this link....
Maybe you don't follow links?
In which case here is an extract...
"Outpour is a social mobile app that lets you write anonymous appreciative messages for people you care about. On Outpour, it is easy and encouraged for you to tell your best friend that he is amazing, your coworker that she rocks, and your hero that she’s changed your life. We are getting more people to say more good things to each other – because people should know they are loved.
The idea originated when Outpour’s creator anonymously wrote his friends frank, heartfelt emails explaining why he loved them. Many of his friends shared these emails with each other, and figured out that he wrote them. Because he wrote anonymously, with no expectation of reward, his messages created incredible joy out of thin air. Outpour lets anyone write that type of message.
Outpour users do two things: First, write messages of gratitude. They can select people from a list of friends, search by username, or create profiles such as “My Favorite Barista.” Second, they can view messages written by and about their friends, as well as popular messages worldwide."
Maybe you don't follow links?
In which case here is an extract...
"Outpour is a social mobile app that lets you write anonymous appreciative messages for people you care about. On Outpour, it is easy and encouraged for you to tell your best friend that he is amazing, your coworker that she rocks, and your hero that she’s changed your life. We are getting more people to say more good things to each other – because people should know they are loved.
The idea originated when Outpour’s creator anonymously wrote his friends frank, heartfelt emails explaining why he loved them. Many of his friends shared these emails with each other, and figured out that he wrote them. Because he wrote anonymously, with no expectation of reward, his messages created incredible joy out of thin air. Outpour lets anyone write that type of message.
Outpour users do two things: First, write messages of gratitude. They can select people from a list of friends, search by username, or create profiles such as “My Favorite Barista.” Second, they can view messages written by and about their friends, as well as popular messages worldwide."
Building a culture of altruism and love....!
Tweaks
To achieve these habits:
So:
1. No facebook/twitter except via mobile phone which is laborious and thus a deterrent. Exception: where it's urgent and/or for business
2, Bed by 10pm - (Sleep , quiet, read)
3. No TV except on Sundays. Use the evenings for piano (Skill)
4. Walk to the gym in the morning - it's only slightly slower than car and traffic (Walk, exercise)
5. Up early, hmmm...difficult (Quiet, read)
6. Timetable early morning classes if possible (Exercise)
7. Only deal with emails early morning and early evening - two blocks of time , The world can turn without immediate answers
8. Big glass water before every meal (Liquid)
9. Carry change in pocket if in town - for homeless (Kindness)
10. Breathe deeply where possible, for at least five minutes a day (Quiet, exercise, sleep)
11. Get a notebook and write down five tasks/objectives each night and then achieve them the next day,
12. Read a daily affirmation with gratitude
13. Write this blog up at the end of every day and see how the habits are doing
BREATHING
If you’re having trouble focusing on just your breath, consider incorporating a simple repetitive movement or phrase. In an Italian study, researchers asked two groups of participants to repeat yoga mantras or part of the rosary (the Ave Maria, in case you’re curious) six times a minute to correspond with natural circulatory fluctuations in the human system. The rhythmic recitation allowed both sets of participants to synchronize their cardiovascular patterns and increase their oxygen intake. Both groups reported a greater sense of well-being and displayed favorable physiological changes (greater Baroreflex sensitivity and less variable heart rate).
- Kindness
- Liquid
- Exercise
- Sleep
- Quiet
- Read
- Walk
- Skill
So:
1. No facebook/twitter except via mobile phone which is laborious and thus a deterrent. Exception: where it's urgent and/or for business
2, Bed by 10pm - (Sleep , quiet, read)
3. No TV except on Sundays. Use the evenings for piano (Skill)
4. Walk to the gym in the morning - it's only slightly slower than car and traffic (Walk, exercise)
5. Up early, hmmm...difficult (Quiet, read)
6. Timetable early morning classes if possible (Exercise)
7. Only deal with emails early morning and early evening - two blocks of time , The world can turn without immediate answers
8. Big glass water before every meal (Liquid)
9. Carry change in pocket if in town - for homeless (Kindness)
10. Breathe deeply where possible, for at least five minutes a day (Quiet, exercise, sleep)
11. Get a notebook and write down five tasks/objectives each night and then achieve them the next day,
12. Read a daily affirmation with gratitude
13. Write this blog up at the end of every day and see how the habits are doing
BREATHING
Here’s how to do it:
- Simply get comfortable in any position and put your hands on your chest and stomach.
- To maximize oxygen intake, it’s important to learn to breathe from your abdomen (“belly breathing”) rather than your chest. Focus on your breath until you feel your stomach rise and fall more dramatically than your chest with each inhalation and exhalation.
- Breathe in through your nose, hold the breath for a few seconds and then exhale through your mouth. The time it takes to exhale should be about twice what it is to inhale. (Many suggest a 4:7:8 pattern – 4 to inhale, 7 to hold, and 8 to exhale.) Let go of other thoughts while you breathe.
- Do 4-8 breath cycles 1-3 times every day.
If you’re having trouble focusing on just your breath, consider incorporating a simple repetitive movement or phrase. In an Italian study, researchers asked two groups of participants to repeat yoga mantras or part of the rosary (the Ave Maria, in case you’re curious) six times a minute to correspond with natural circulatory fluctuations in the human system. The rhythmic recitation allowed both sets of participants to synchronize their cardiovascular patterns and increase their oxygen intake. Both groups reported a greater sense of well-being and displayed favorable physiological changes (greater Baroreflex sensitivity and less variable heart rate).
1. Breathing Detoxifies and Releases Toxins
Your body is designed to release 70% of its toxins through breathing. If you are not breathing effectively, you are not properly ridding your body of its toxins i.e. other systems in your body must work overtime which could eventually lead to illness. When you exhale air from your body you release carbon dioxide that has been passed through from your bloodstream into your lungs. Carbon dioxide is a natural waste of your body's metabolism.
2. Breathing Releases Tension
Think how your body feels when you are tense, angry, scared or stressed. It constricts. Your muscles get tight and your breathing becomes shallow. When your breathing is shallow you are not getting the amount of oxygen that your body needs.
3. Breathing Relaxes the Mind/Body and Brings Clarity
Oxygenation of the brain reducing excessive anxiety levels. Paying attention to your breathing. Breathe slowly, deeply and purposefully into your body. Notice any places that are tight and breathe into them. As you relax your body, you may find that the breathing brings clarity and insights to you as well.
4. Breathing Relieves Emotional Problems
Breathing will help clear uneasy feelings out of your body.
5. Breathing Relieves Pain.
You may not realize its connection to how you think, feel and experience life. For example, what happens to your breathing when you anticipate pain? You probably hold your breath. Yet studies show that breathing into your pain helps to ease it.
6. Breathing Massages Your Organs
The movements of the diaphragm during the deep breathing exercise massages the stomach, small intestine, liver and pancreas. The upper movement of the diaphragm also massages the heart. When you inhale air your diaphragm descends and your abdomen will expand. By this action you massage vital organs and improves circulation in them. Controlled breathing also strengthens and tones your abdominal muscles.
7. Breathing Increases Muscle
Breathing is the oxygenation process to all of the cells in your body. With the supply of oxygen to the brain this increases the muscles in your body.
8. Breathing Strengthens the Immune System
Oxygen travels through your bloodstream by attaching to haemoglobin in your red blood cells. This in turn then enriches your body to metabolise nutrients and vitamins.
9. Breathing Improves Posture
Good breathing techniques over a sustained period of time will encourage good posture. Bad body posture will result of incorrect breathing so this is such an important process by getting your posture right from early on you will see great benefits.
10. Breathing Improves Quality of the Blood
Deep breathing removes all the carbon-dioxide and increases oxygen in the blood and thus increases blood quality.
11. Breathing Increases Digestion and
Assimilation of food
The digestive organs such as the stomach receive more oxygen, and hence operates more efficiently. The digestion is further enhanced by the fact that the food is oxygenated more.
12. Breathing Improves the Nervous System
The brain, spinal cord and nerves receive increased oxygenation and are more nourished. This improves the health of the whole body, since the nervous system communicates to all parts of the body.
13. Breathing Strengthen the Lungs
As you breathe deeply the lung become healthy and powerful, a good insurance against respiratory problems.
14. Proper Breathing makes the Heart Stronger.
Breathing exercises reduce the workload on the heart in two ways. Firstly, deep breathing leads to more efficient lungs, which means more oxygen, is brought into contact with blood sent to the lungs by the heart. So, the heart doesn't have to work as hard to deliver oxygen to the tissues. Secondly, deep breathing leads to a greater pressure differential in the lungs, which leads to an increase in the circulation, thus resting the heart a little.
15. Proper Breathing assists in Weight Control.
16. Breathing Boosts Energy levels and Improves Stamina
17. Breathing Improves Cellular Regeneration
18. Breathing Elevates Moods
Breathing increase pleasure-inducing neurochemicals in the brain to elevate moods and combat physical pain - See more at: http://www.onepowerfulword.com/2010/10/18-benefits-of-deep-breathing-and-how.html#sthash.LlMa7Qjx.dpuf
Your body is designed to release 70% of its toxins through breathing. If you are not breathing effectively, you are not properly ridding your body of its toxins i.e. other systems in your body must work overtime which could eventually lead to illness. When you exhale air from your body you release carbon dioxide that has been passed through from your bloodstream into your lungs. Carbon dioxide is a natural waste of your body's metabolism.
2. Breathing Releases Tension
Think how your body feels when you are tense, angry, scared or stressed. It constricts. Your muscles get tight and your breathing becomes shallow. When your breathing is shallow you are not getting the amount of oxygen that your body needs.
3. Breathing Relaxes the Mind/Body and Brings Clarity
Oxygenation of the brain reducing excessive anxiety levels. Paying attention to your breathing. Breathe slowly, deeply and purposefully into your body. Notice any places that are tight and breathe into them. As you relax your body, you may find that the breathing brings clarity and insights to you as well.
4. Breathing Relieves Emotional Problems
Breathing will help clear uneasy feelings out of your body.
5. Breathing Relieves Pain.
You may not realize its connection to how you think, feel and experience life. For example, what happens to your breathing when you anticipate pain? You probably hold your breath. Yet studies show that breathing into your pain helps to ease it.
6. Breathing Massages Your Organs
The movements of the diaphragm during the deep breathing exercise massages the stomach, small intestine, liver and pancreas. The upper movement of the diaphragm also massages the heart. When you inhale air your diaphragm descends and your abdomen will expand. By this action you massage vital organs and improves circulation in them. Controlled breathing also strengthens and tones your abdominal muscles.
7. Breathing Increases Muscle
Breathing is the oxygenation process to all of the cells in your body. With the supply of oxygen to the brain this increases the muscles in your body.
8. Breathing Strengthens the Immune System
Oxygen travels through your bloodstream by attaching to haemoglobin in your red blood cells. This in turn then enriches your body to metabolise nutrients and vitamins.
9. Breathing Improves Posture
Good breathing techniques over a sustained period of time will encourage good posture. Bad body posture will result of incorrect breathing so this is such an important process by getting your posture right from early on you will see great benefits.
10. Breathing Improves Quality of the Blood
Deep breathing removes all the carbon-dioxide and increases oxygen in the blood and thus increases blood quality.
11. Breathing Increases Digestion and
Assimilation of food
The digestive organs such as the stomach receive more oxygen, and hence operates more efficiently. The digestion is further enhanced by the fact that the food is oxygenated more.
12. Breathing Improves the Nervous System
The brain, spinal cord and nerves receive increased oxygenation and are more nourished. This improves the health of the whole body, since the nervous system communicates to all parts of the body.
13. Breathing Strengthen the Lungs
As you breathe deeply the lung become healthy and powerful, a good insurance against respiratory problems.
14. Proper Breathing makes the Heart Stronger.
Breathing exercises reduce the workload on the heart in two ways. Firstly, deep breathing leads to more efficient lungs, which means more oxygen, is brought into contact with blood sent to the lungs by the heart. So, the heart doesn't have to work as hard to deliver oxygen to the tissues. Secondly, deep breathing leads to a greater pressure differential in the lungs, which leads to an increase in the circulation, thus resting the heart a little.
15. Proper Breathing assists in Weight Control.
If
you are overweight, the extra oxygen burns up the excess fat more
efficiently. If you are underweight, the extra oxygen feeds the starving
tissues and glands.
16. Breathing Boosts Energy levels and Improves Stamina
17. Breathing Improves Cellular Regeneration
18. Breathing Elevates Moods
Breathing increase pleasure-inducing neurochemicals in the brain to elevate moods and combat physical pain - See more at: http://www.onepowerfulword.com/2010/10/18-benefits-of-deep-breathing-and-how.html#sthash.LlMa7Qjx.dpuf
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