The Contentment Habit

This is an excellent post - and it first appeared here (an excellent site) 

I’ll admit I do it as much as anyone else: see the cool things that others are doing and wish I were doing something cool like that too.

You see great travel photos on Instagram and other social media — people living amazing lives, creating cool things, going on adventures. And instantly, there’s the thought that you should be living a better life.

But this is the wrong habit. It leads to a feeling that your life isn’t good enough, that you aren’t good enough. And the habit doesn’t end: if you pursue a better life, you will always feel that you should be doing more, partying more, creating more, learning more, reading more, traveling more. You can’t possibly do it all, but you’ll always wish you were.
So what’s a better habit? The contentment habit.

What I’ve been learning is that happiness and contentment and greatness isn’t out there. It’s not where everyone else is, even if it seems like it. You can spend your whole life chasing this happiness, contentment, dreams, greatness, coolness, and never reach it. That’s because it’s right where you are now.

Before we talk about that, let’s look at the habits that most of us do.

The Discontentment Habits

Tell me if these habits sound familiar:

• You see people doing great things, traveling, having fun, and wish you were doing something like that too. This never ends, because no matter how much you do, there will always be other people doing still more things that sound really cool. So you’ll never reach the pinnacle of fun and cool and achievement.
• You look at yourself and think that you can improve — get fitter, leaner, more learned, calmer, happier, more productive. This too never ends, because even if you do amazingly at improving yourself, you will never be perfect, and there will always be more to improve. So you’ll never be content, and then you die.
• You feel you could be doing more. You’re rushing around, doing a lot, but there’s always a feeling that you could be doing more. This never ends, because there is always more you could be doing. You can never do everything, so there’s always more that you’re not doing than there is that you are doing.
• You criticize others for what they’re not doing. Your kids, your spouse, your family, your friends … they’re all doing something you think they shouldn’t, or maybe not doing something you think they should. There isn’t happiness in criticizing others, because you’re dissatisfied with life when you’re dissatisfied with other people.

If you find yourself doing any of these things — and I’d bet $1,000 that you do them more than you realize — then it’s a good time to think about whether that habit will ever end, and if it will bring you happiness.

The answer to both questions is no — those habits don’t have an end, and they don’t bring happiness or contentment.

The Contentment Habit

When you catch yourself doing those discontentment habits, by being mindful of your feelings and thoughts during the day … try this instead:

• Stop looking elsewhere for happiness — in what others are doing, in what you should be doing, in what others should be doing but aren’t, in the things you should improve. Happiness and contentment aren’t out there.
• Instead, turn to where you are right at this moment. Pause and feel your body, your breath, and all the sensations surrounding you right now. See how this moment contains so much that you don’t normally notice, if you start paying attention.
• Realize that this moment is enough. All around you, right now, is a moment that is as high quality as any of the possibilities that often enter your mind of what you should be doing or where you should be. Those ideal experiences aren’t of any higher quality than the experience you’re having right now.
• See the wonder in this moment. Right where you are, right now. Notice the amazing things around you, and in you, as if you’re seeing it for the first time ever. Notice the miracle of your body, your mind, your surroundings. How did all this come to be? The building you’re in, or the nature you’re in, didn’t just magically appear — it’s almost as if the world conspired to make this moment happen, and you get to be here to witness it. Awesome!

That’s the contentment habit, and you can do it anytime, anyplace, no matter what you’re doing or who you’re with. It is free, always available, always miraculous. And it never ends.

Have a look at this too - it's interesting!

And this...

Say No!

Here are five important things to say no to this year:

1. "No" to tasks you can easily outsource instead. 

Entrepreneurs consistently need more of two things: money and time. You can create more money, you can scale more income, but you can’t create more time. There will always be 24 hours in a day, no exceptions.
Since you can’t control the amount of time you have access to, focus instead on the amount of time you can leverage from others. Outsourcing is a fantastic way to keep momentum in your life and your business.
Is your time best spent cleaning? If not, hire someone to clean. Is your time best spent preparing meals or answering phone calls? You can outsource both those things. Look for all the ways and places you can say "no" to tasks that you could easily (and probably affordably!) outsource.

2. "No" to actions that don’t match your vision.

Before you say "yes" to any request, ask if it matches your vision. There are a lot of great speaking opportunities, podcast interviews, charity events, mentoring opportunities and so many more potentially limitless lists of activities and events to get involved with in your life. However, just because something is a good cause, great product or smart idea, doesn’t mean it’s intuitively the right fit for your vision.
Say "no" to actions or events that don’t match your vision. Remember, you need to leverage your time because you can’t create more, so say "no" to things that don’t contribute directly to your best version of your vision.

3. "No" to things that distract and destroy your time.

We’re already back to talking about time! Time is your most precious resource, so why let any activity distract or destroy that? This is about setting boundaries with others, regardless of business or pleasure.
Have a friend who loves to gossip? You don’t have time for that anymore. Either say "no" to that conversation or don’t answer the phone. Do you have staff members who are prone to long stories or talks of sports scores? Decide carefully whether those activities enhance your time or kill it. Friends want you to go to Happy Hour every Friday night? If you aren’t getting real value out of those interactions then it’s time to let them go.
Say "no" to the things that don’t make you better and that waste your time.  

4. "No" to things that aren’t healthy for your mind and body.

You don’t have time to be sick or feel sluggish. You just don’t. Take your health and well-being very seriously, because right up there with time is your health so you can enjoy your time and your business.
You know the saying, garbage in, garbage out? Make sure you’re saying "no" to any garbage you’re putting into your mind and body. "No" to negativity. "No" to fake, bad food. "No" to lethargy. Just say "no" to the thoughts, activities and fuel that isn’t good for you. Fuel yourself with the right no’s to stay healthy.

5. "No" to things that aren’t up to you or in your control.

There are things in this life that are inevitably out of your control -- lots of them, actually. So you have a choice. You can fret and freak out about things such as the government, the economy, your partner, the weather or any other variable outside your power, or you can chose to say "no" to the stress that comes from getting upset about things you can’t control.
This isn’t about giving up, it’s about knowing you’re going to get through whatever storms may come. Frankly, giving in to worry or the illusion you can control the outcome only creates stress and wastes time.
Say "no" to the belief that you can always be in complete control. Say "no" to the undue stress that comes from trying to change outcomes that aren’t up to you.

Read more...

Habits not to do!

Here are seven habits you might want to skip:
Related: What Needs to Go on Your 'Stop Doing' List?

1. Touching emails more than once.

When you open a new message you have a few options. You could scan it to realize that you don’t need it or read it and act right away. Or you might read it and act later. It’s important to choose among these options right away, with a strong bias toward the first two.
The idea is "only hold it once" (or the OHIO acronym) perhaps as if you were grasping a letter sitting on a pile on your desk.
Instead of pushing off the message to deal with later and going on to the next email, you should probably just take care of it right away. Otherwise you’re setting yourself up for rereading it later, resulting in a loss of time.

2. Meeting just to meet.

How many meetings do you attend in a week? Many companies will have staffers meet to meet because that’s the way they have always gone about things. It’s habitual and part of the weekly routine.
“We’ve always done a morning meeting," someone might tell you.
If there’s nothing crucial to discuss, the conversation becomes a rather inefficient use of time that could have been better spent elsewhere. Meetings are meant to solve problems.

3. Meeting without an agenda.

Avoid meetings without a goal. Someone may approach you, saying, "Hey, let's get coffee."
If you have a full plate of work and a cup of joe ready, maybe it’s best to politely decline. Your colleague will hopefully understand if he or she respects your time.
Meetings are meant to solve problems and instigate action. When you're ready to meet, think about the ultimate goal you’re hoping to achieve. With planning, direction and an established game plan, you’ll be able to have a focused and productive meeting.

4. Repeating mistakes.

You will at some point make a mistake. So get it out of your head that you can avoid errors. Making mistakes is part of being an entrepreneur. The bad habit is making the same mistake twice.
I like to say, "Ask for forgiveness instead of permission." This creates a risk-taking culture with an understanding about the need to learn from mistakes.
Go ahead and make mistakes, but just don't make them again. Realize what you have learned and then go forth.

5. Using a phone as an alarm.

Stop this habit now.
If you put your phone next to your bed with its alarm set, you will probably gaze at your phone for the last hour of the night. That means it might be hard to fall asleep amid the constant interaction and bright light.
In fact, 54 percent of more than 2,000 adults said they "check their phones while lying in bed: before they go to sleep, after they wake up, even in the middle of the night," in Lookout’s "Mobile Mindset Study" conducted by Harris Interactive in 2012.
Using your phone as an alarm prompts you check email. You’re scrolling through Twitter. You let your brain to go in six different directions, while gazing at that funny Instagram photo.
It can be difficult to focus. You need to give yourself the freedom to have time to wake up. Establish a healthy morning routine, whether it's exercise, reading or eating breakfast and get an old-fashioned alarm clock.

6. Allowing app notifications.

In today’s connected world so many things compete for your attention. They’re pinging, buzzing, tweeting and startling people nearly every possible second.
The default setting for many apps on phones is to allow push notifications, but you’re essentially just opening yourself up to a wealth of distractions. Sometimes it’s best to set soundless alerts, with no buzzing or vibrating, or even no alerts at all.
Can you imagine what you could achieve in 60 minutes of uninterrupted time? 

7. Being a chameleon.

You’re willing to be everything to everyone and adapt to please. Ah, yes, you're the people pleaser type. But sometimes, you might go out of your way and are not acting yourself by being so nice and agreeable those times when you feel you must.
Let’s say your employee approaches you for feedback on a recent project. You say it's is a good idea even though it isn’t. Your inability to give constructive criticism can lead to poor, dishonest judgment and bad decisions.
Being a chameleon won’t get you anywhere.  
There’s always room for improvement. Don't stop innovating and improving. It’s the journey, not the destination. Stay hungry and always want to improve. 

Read more....

Bad habits - don't start them!

Ever seen diet sites where there is an emphasis on meal swop? This similar - swop the good habit for the bad one.

Even better, list these bad habits and think how YOU can change them....


Stop complaining about what’s missing.  

Instead, be grateful for what you already have.

 Stop being a jerk to people you love.  

Instead, open up about what’s bothering you deep inside.

 Stop comparing yourself to others, because you’ll never feel good enough.  

Instead, focus on your strengths and let them shine.
 
Stop pushing people away with your criticism. 

Instead, accept your imperfections and acknowledge theirs as well.
 
Stop living in your past. 

Instead, forgive yourself and those who caused you pain and move on.

 Stop seeking people’s approval, because you’ll always feel that something’s missing.

Instead, believe in yourself and focus on what makes you happy.

The above and below is from this wonderful site

Stop blaming others for your unhappiness, because you’re the author of your life.  

Instead, put a plan together to create the life that you want.

 Stop beating yourself up when you make mistakes.

 Instead, use them as an opportunity to grow.

 Stop falling into your bad habits.  

Instead, create new ones that will help you achieve your goals.

 Stop wasting your life on Facebook and on TV.  

Instead, find new passions that will nurture you.

 Stop living other people’s dreams.

Instead, find your own and feel alive forever.
 
Stop being in a rush.

Instead, focus on every moment because you have all your life to complete your tasks.
 
Stop worrying about everything.  

Instead, focus on every moment so you don’t miss out on miracles.

 Stop whining.  

Instead, focus on what you want and take action to get it

 Stop controlling others.  

Instead, appreciate who they are and what they are.

 Stop thinking you’re the smartest.  

Instead, appreciate the best in others and work with them to create a more harmonious world.

 Stop trying to impress other people.  

Instead, be yourself and let people love you for who you are.

 Stop surrounding yourself with negative people, because they’ll only bring you down. 

Instead, be around like minded people who appreciate you and support your growth

 Stop saying YES to everything.  

Instead, stand up for yourself and say NO lovingly, for everyone’s sake.

 Stop competing for success.  

Instead, realize that the world has enough for everyone.

 Stop being scared of taking your first step.

Instead, gain your power back and trust the process of life. Everything happens for a “good” reason.

Tricks to break bad habits

First ask yourself some questions

You've got to have a reason to change so you can look for reduction of negatives (eg stopping smoking - the effects) but better to use a carrot and look for positives!

1. What will you do instead?

Quit! Stop! Control! If there’s something you really want to remember about this post, it’s the idea that you should turn a negative worded goal of “quitting something” into a positive one. I’ll give a few tips on how do to it, but you are flying solo here, and gut feelings will be your guide.
Let’s make a specific example: how could you turn the negative worded goal of “Quit smoking” into a positive one?

• Look for positive consequences. Any habit change opens up new possibilities. Let’s forget for a moment the health benefits you get when you quit smoking: you’ve probably heard them a million times… If you are short on cash, when you stop smoking you’ll suddenly increase your pocket money: is there something you’d love buying with such money? For me, the goal could be: “I’ll buy myself a luxury breakfast everyday with the money I was previously using for purchasing cigarettes!”
• Look for mutually exclusive activities. Sometime if you choose to do something new, and then stick to it, you became practically unable to engage in your old bad habit. For example, it is difficult to smoke a lot when you are preparing for a marathon.
• Go nuts! Have fun thinking of weird and interesting things you could do instead of smoking cigarettes. For example: “When I feel like smoking a cigarette I’ll have a sexual fantasy instead!”

2. Do you really want to change?

I have a confession to make: sometimes I complain about something even if I don’t really want to change it.
I guess it’s a way to release stress, and I accept it, even if I don’t particularly like it.
What about you? Have you really decided to change? If the answer is no, praise yourself for your ability to have such a deep insight about yourself, and buy a little treat. On the other hand, if you really want to change, get ready to answer the next question.

3. Is now the right time?

You’ve heard it many times. I’ll tell you once again. It’s important to focus only on one habit change at a time, so if you have too much on your plate right now, you might want to wait before introducing new challenges.

4. What’s in it for you?

Successful habit change requires a strong motivation.
The best way to fire up you desire to change, is having a full picture of all the positive things you are bringing into your life, and of all of the negative ones you are moving away from.
In short, you can answer the fourth question by writing down two separate lists: “Good things I move forward to”, “Bad thing’s I get away from.”
The trick here is to make sure that all of your personality has a say in writing those two lists: you don’t want to approach change only with a parental attitude “I should be doing…”, or in a purely logical fashion “smoking is detrimental to my health, hence I quit”.
Follow the steps below and you’ll make sure that nothing is left behind.

• Put a piece of paper in front of you and write down: “Good things I move forward to.” What would be those good things for your parents?
• Keeping the focus on good things, consider all of the objective information you have on your habit change, and write down all of the benefits that such change will bring.
• Imagine explaining the advantages of your habit change to an intelligent 8 years old child. Write down simple worded benefits which could be attractive and understandable to a little boy.
• Now repeat the same process with the “Bad things I move away from.”
• You’ve done it all: it’s time to celebrate!

Read more here...

Also here are a fantastic 20 tricks to get rid of a bad habit.... 

1. Commit for a Month. Thirty days is all you need to make a habit change permanent. Less time than that and the new alternative might not be hardwired into your brain. More time and any failures to last are usually a failure of strategy, not duration.this of course is what this blog is all about....
2. Replace What You Lose. Your habits fulfill needs. When you suddenly cause a change, you may inadvertently cut them out. Before you make a change, write down all the benefits you currently get from your bad habit and make sure they are retained going into the new habit.This is the carrot approach.
3. Start Small . Changing habits isn’’t a matter of willpower, but patience and strategy. Don’’t expect to overhaul your diet, exercise or thinking patterns in a day. Tackle one habit at a time.Loads of resources here on this blog about small changes, look for DAILY HABITS or IMPROVE YOUR LIFE
4. Know the Benefits. Get clear in your mind what the benefits are of making a change. If making a change rationally seems good but it doesn’’t feel good, it won’’t stick. Emotions have more power than many of us realize.
5. Write it Down . Winston Churchill once said, ““Plans are useless, planning is invaluable.”” Writing out any commitments you make will give you clarity both to what you desire and how you intend to do it. Make them SMART
6. Swish. A technique from NLP. Visualize yourself performing the bad habit. Next visualize yourself pushing aside the bad habit and performing an alternative. Finally, end that sequence with an image of yourself in a highly positive state. See yourself picking up the cigarette, see yourself putting it down and snapping your fingers, finally visualize yourself running and breathing free. Do it a few times until you automatically go through the pattern before executing the old habit.
7. Tell a Friend . Get some leverage on yourself. Tell a friend your plan so you will be more likely to commit to the change. Maybe even share the adoption of the good habit - which is, in effect, dropping the bad habit
8. Make it an Experiment. Be a scientist. Just try the new habit to see what it will be like, rather than a great emotional struggle. This will help keep you focused on conditioning the trial and allow you to view results with less bias.
9. If at First You Don’’t Succeed… Most big changes aren’’t going to happen the first time. It took me three attempts before I finally stuck on with exercising regularly. Now I love it. Don’’t be too hard on yourself if you fail the first time; just tweak your approach and go again.
10. Get Out of Hazard Zones. Get yourself out of situations that can trigger your old habit. Remove junk food from your house. Don’’t go to places where you might break your budget. This isn’’t always possible, but do your best to avoid temptation.
11. Use “But”. A prominent habit-changing therapist once told me this great technique for changing bad thought patterns. When you start to think negative thoughts, use the word “”but”” to interrupt it. “”I’’m no good at this, but, if I work at it I might get better later.””
12. Know the Pain. Feel what will happen to you if you don’t make a change. Use your imagination to enhance the image of your results should you do nothing.
13. Add Role Models. Start spending more time with people who live the way you want to live. Join groups and find mentors who have already adapted the habits you want to take on. They can be invaluable in giving you the positive reinforcement and guidance you need.
14. Stay Consistent . Try to keep as many aspects of your habit in control when conditioning to make the associations stronger. For the first month don’’t just exercise a few times a week, but every day. Do things at the same time and in the same pattern to ensure your results stick.
15. Keep it Simple Stupid!. Habits should be one or two rules, not 20. If your plan looks like a User License Agreement from Microsoft, it’’s probably too long. Keep changes simple so they will be easier to adhere to.
16. Remind Yourself. Put reminders of your habit around you. After spending a few years changing many habits, I’’ve learned that one of the biggest ways I’’ve failed is simply a poor memory. Forgetting to run a trial one day leads to two until your back where you started. Put up Post-It notes, affirmations or whatever you need to stay consistent.
17. Motivate Yourself. Get the motivation when things get tough. Check out 20 Motivation Hacks for some good ways to do that.
18. Break Down Your Goals. Use habits to get your goals. Break down your goal to be wealthy into habits of investing, frugality and entrepreneurship. One small step at a time
19. Don’’t Strive for Perfection. Focus on the habits that are important and minimize those that aren’’t. I’’ve changed many major habits, but I’’ve also learned to let minor problems exist if they distract me from the bigger picture.
20. Do it Now. Waiting for life? The best way to learn how to change those stubborn habits in your life is to practice. Make a change now and in a month you can have a completely new way of living.

Break a bad habit by...turning it into a good one!

  Much of the below came from this wonderful site

 You don’t eliminate a bad habit, you replace it.

All of the habits that you have right now — good or bad — are in your life for a reason. In some way, these behaviors provide a benefit to you, even if they are bad for you in other ways. 

Sometimes the benefit is biological like it is with smoking or drugs. Sometimes it’s emotional like it is when you stay in a relationship that is bad for you. And in many cases, your bad habit is a simple way to cope with stress. For example, biting your nails, pulling your hair, tapping your foot, or clenching your jaw.

These “benefits” or reasons extend to smaller bad habits as well.

For example, opening your email inbox as soon as you turn on your computer might make you feel connected. At the same time looking at all of those emails destroys your productivity, divides your attention, and overwhelms you with stress. But, it prevents you from feeling like you’re “missing out” … and so you do it again.

Because bad habits provide some type of benefit in your life, it’s very difficult to simply eliminate them. (This is why simplistic advice like “just stop doing it” rarely works.)
Instead, you need to replace a bad habit with a new habit that provides a similar benefit.
For example, if you smoke when you get stressed, then it’s a bad plan to “just stop smoking” when that happens. Instead, you should come up with a different way to deal with stress and insert that new behavior instead of having a cigarette.

In other words, bad habits address certain needs in your life. And for that reason, it’s better to replace your bad habits with a healthier behavior that addresses that same need. If you expect yourself to simply cut out bad habits without replacing them, then you’ll have certain needs that will be unmet and it’s going to be hard to stick to a routine of “just don’t do it” for very long.

How to break a bad habit

Here are some additional ideas for breaking your bad habits and thinking about the process in a new way.

Choose a substitute for your bad habit. You need to have a plan ahead of time for how you will respond when you face the stress or boredom that prompts your bad habit. What are you going to do when you get the urge to smoke? (Example: breathing exercises instead.) What are you going to do when Facebook is calling to you to procrastinate? (Example: write one sentence for work.) Whatever it is and whatever you’re dealing with, you need to have a plan for what you will do instead of your bad habit.

Cut out as many triggers as possible. If you smoke when you drink, then don’t go to the bar. If you eat cookies when they are in the house, then throw them all away. If the first thing you do when you sit on the couch is pick up the TV remote, then hide the remote in a closet in a different room. Make it easier on yourself to break bad habits by avoiding the things that cause them. 

Right now, your environment makes your bad habit easier and good habits harder. Change your environment and you can change the outcome.

Join forces with somebody. How often do you try to diet in private? Or maybe you “quit smoking” … but you kept it to yourself? (That way no one will see you fail, right?)
Instead, pair up with someone and quit together. The two of you can hold each other accountable and celebrate your victories together. Knowing that someone else expects you to be better is a powerful motivator.

Surround yourself with people who live the way you want to live. You don’t need to ditch your old friends, but don’t underestimate the power of finding some new ones. If you don’t know where to start, then join a Superhuman Meetup.

Visualize yourself succeeding. See yourself throwing away the cigarettes or buying healthy food or waking up early. Whatever the bad habit is that you are looking to break, visualize yourself crushing it, smiling, and enjoying your success. See yourself building a new identity.

You don’t need to be someone else, you just need to return to the old you. So often we think that to break our bad habits, we need to become an entirely new person. The truth is that you already have it in you to be someone without your bad habits. In fact, it’s very unlikely that you had these bad habits all of your life. You don’t need to quit smoking, you just need to return to being a non–smoker. You don’t need to transform into a healthy person, you just need to return to being healthy. Even if it was years ago, you have already lived without this bad habit, which means you can most definitely do it again.

Use the word “but” to overcome negative self–talk. One thing about battling bad habits is that it’s easy to judge yourself for not acting better. Every time you slip up or make a mistake, it’s easy to tell yourself how much you suck.
Whenever that happens, finish the sentence with “but”…

• “I’m fat and out of shape, but I could be in shape a few months from now.”
• “I’m stupid and nobody respects me, but I’m working to develop a valuable skill.”
• “I’m a failure, but everybody fails sometimes.”

Plan for failure. We all slip up every now and then.
As my main man Steve Kamb says, “When you screw up, skip a workout, eat bad foods, or sleep in, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. Welcome to the club.”
So rather than beating yourself up over a mistake, plan for it. We all get off track, what separates top performers from everyone else is that they get back on track very quickly. For a handful of strategies that can help you bounce back when you make a mistake, read this article.

Where to go from here

If you’re looking for the first step to breaking your bad habits, I’d suggest starting with awareness.
It’s easy to get caught up in how you feel about your bad habits. You can make yourself feel guilty or spend your time dreaming about how you wish things were … but these thoughts take you away from what’s actually happening.
Instead, it’s awareness that will show you how to actually make change.

• When does your bad habit actually happen?
• How many times do you do it each day?
• Where are you?
• Who are you with?
• What triggers the behavior and causes it to start?

Simply tracking these issues will make you more aware of the behavior and give you dozens of ideas for stopping it. 

Here’s a simple way to start: just track how many times per day your bad habit happens. Put a piece of paper in your pocket and a pen. Each time your bad habit happens, mark it down on your paper. At the end of the day, count up all of the tally marks and see what your total is.

In the beginning your goal isn’t to judge yourself or feel guilty about doing something unhealthy or unproductive. The only goal is to be aware of when it happens and how often it happens. Wrap your head around the problem by being aware of it. Then, you can start to implement the ideas in this article and break your bad habit.
Breaking bad habits takes time and effort, but mostly it takes perseverance. Most people who end up breaking their bad habits try and fail multiple times before they make it work. You might not have success right away, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have it at all.

Shoutouts:

1. Hat tip to Leo Babauta for originally talking about stress and boredom driving bad habits.
2. Hat tip to Scott Young for sharing the great idea about using the word “but” to overcome negative self–talk.

And here's a great way to end this post!

 

How to break a bad habit

First - change your thinking

Commit to a goal. Although it may seem obvious, it is important to understand that the first step in breaking a bad habit developing a true desire for and commitment to changing your life.^[1]

• Many people embark on the path of breaking a habit without being certain that they really want to change. Breaking habits is a difficult task, so if you aren't fully committed to it you are likely to fail.^[2]
•  ^{Understand your habit. Most habitual behaviors are patterns that have evolved because they have been rewarded in some way. They make it easier to perform a common task, or to deal with various emotional states, resulting in a "reward" in the form of neurochemicals that trigger our brains' pleasure centers.[3]}
  • Many bad habits come about as a means of dealing with situations that cause stress or boredom.^[4]
  • To break a habit, it is important to understand the nature of the reward it has been providing.^[5]
  • For example, for many people smoking provides a relief from stress. Overeating results in reward from the flavor of the food. Procrastination temporarily provides free time to engage in more fun activities.^[6]
  • To determine the most effective way to break a habit, it will be helpful to determine the situational and emotional context that triggers the habit.^[7]
  • Having this understanding will allow you to develop other, healthier means of achieving the same rewards that the bad habit provided.^[8] 
  1. Make a plan. Once you understand the situation that triggers your habit and the reward you receive for engaging in the undesirable behavior, you can make a plan that involves goals for behavior change and strategies for minimizing habit triggers.^[9]
     • Studies show that having a clear, specific plan greatly increases your chances of success in breaking habit. It helps break down unwanted behaviors and also helps create new patterns of action.^[10]
     • Plan to make mistakes. Do not make a plan that will be deemed a failure as a result of a single slip-up. Most people give in to the temptation of old habits at some point while trying to break them. If you accept this in advance, you will be less likely to let negative thinking defeat the whole enterprise of breaking the habit.^[11]
     • You should include in your plan mechanisms for keeping yourself accountable, in the form of rewards for successes and feedback from others who support your goal of breaking the habit. More details on this are provided in the next section.
  2. 4
     Visualize success. In your mind, repeatedly practice breaking the habit by imagining scenarios in which you engage in desired behaviors rather than the bad habit.^[12] Imagine situations in which you would be tempted to engage in the undesired behavior and choose a better option. This helps reinforce positive behavior patterns.
     • For example, if your goal is to eat less junk food, imagining yourself in your kitchen preparing a healthy meal, and sitting down to eat it.^[13]
     • Some people find it helpful to write down "scripts" of their desired behavior and read them every day.^[14]
  3. 5
     Practice awareness. Be conscious of when you are tempted to give in to bad habits. What are the situations that lead to the undesired behavior? What are the sensations in your body or thoughts in your mind that promote the undesired behavior? Understanding them without judging yourself will help you resist.^[15][16]
     • Don't suppress thoughts about the habit. If you try not think about something, ironically, you will start to see it everywhere and become overwhelmed.^[17]
     • Trying not to think about smoking, for example, will only lead you to hypersensitive to anything that reminds you of smoking. You are much better off to recognize your craving and the situations that promote it, and deal with these issues head-on.
     Then change your behaviour
     
     
     1. Change your environment. Research suggests that sometimes our environments can cue us to perform certain behaviors, even if we're actively trying to stop.^[18] Breaking a habit, then, is partially a matter of reducing situational triggers until you can develop new ways of dealing with them.^[19]
        • Novel situations promote more use of the parts of your brain that are geared toward consciously making decisions, rather than slipping into automatic behavior patterns.^[20]
        • A good way to avoid bad habits is to find a way to change your scenery and see if your bad habit becomes less tempting. For instance, if you like to smoke out on your patio, remove the chair you sit in and replace it with a plant. If you tend to overeat at the same location at the dining room table, move to a different seat or rearrange your furniture such that you're facing a different direction than usual when you eat. Subtle changes to the environment can make a habit less rote and force your mind to reassess what's happening.
        • Forge relationships with people who support your desired behavior. You don't need to ditch your old friends entirely, but finding some new ones who live the way you want to can help minimize triggers.^[21]
        • Go on vacation, if you can. One of the most effective ways to break old habits is put yourself in a completely new situation for a while, and develop new, healthier habits that you can then transplant into your normal life when you return.^[22]
     2. 2
        Create barriers to the habit. If you can create obstacles that make the habit more difficult or unpleasant to engage in than some other course of action, this can help you break the routines that have reinforced this habit in the past.^[23] Here are a few suggestions:
        • Tell supportive people about your plan to break your habit, and invite them to call you out on your slip-ups. This will create consequences for succumbing to temptation.^[24]
        • Or, even better, find someone else who wants to break the same habit as you, and quit together, keeping each other accountable.^[25]
        • Anything you can do to break up the sequence of events that normally leads to the undesirable behavior is also a good idea. For example, if you are trying to stop smoking, keep your cigarettes in another room. If you are trying to stop logging on to Facebook during working hours, disconnect the internet or use one of the available apps that blocks access to sites like this.^[26] Even though these obstacles can be easily overcome, they are sometimes enough to break up the behavior pattern that leads to the unwanted behavior.^[27]
        • Create small "punishments" for lapses. For example, you can use the same rationale behind a swear jar: every time you slip back into the habit, put a dollar (or more) in a can or jar. Set an amount that you'll hate to cough up whenever you give into the urge, and stick to it. When you've successfully kicked the habit, spend the money on a reward or donate it to a charitable cause.
        • Or, if you are trying to stop overeating, add 10 minutes to your workout every time you overeat. A punishment related to the behavior will probably be most effective.^[28]
     3. 3
        Reward your successes. Because habits are created when a behavior is rewarded in some way, a great way to create new habits is to reward yourself for good behavior.^[29]
        • The most successful reward will be one that comes immediately after the desired behavior, and which is something you genuinely want or enjoy.
        • For example, if you are trying to break the habit of being late for work, you could reward yourself with a cup of gourmet coffee each day you arrive on time, until the reward is no longer needed.^[30]
     4. 4
        Find a placeholder. Try to replace your habit with something new and positive in your life. The key is to have a plan for an alternative action to take when tempted to engage in a bad habit. ^[31]
        • For instance, if you're trying to stop smoking, eat a sucker, do breathing exercises, or walk around the block when you would usually light up. Filling the void left by your old habit with another activity will help you avoid backsliding.
        • Try to make sure the alternative action isn't boring or unappealing. If you can make your new habit something you actually want to do, something you enjoy, or something that results in some obvious (and ideally immediate) positive outcome, it will be easier to make the switch.^[32]
     5. 5
        Be patient. Behavioral conditioning is a long process, and breaking a habit takes time, so you have to stick with it.
        • Conventional wisdom and self-help books have suggested that it takes 28 days to break a habit. The reality is more complicated, as recent studies have suggested that how long the process takes depends on both the individual and the habit, and can range from as few as 18 days or as many as 245.^[33]
        • Even though this process varies between individuals, it is probably safe to say that the first few days will be the hardest. Some neuroscientists suggest people go through a "withdrawal" period during the first two weeks, as our nervous systems struggle to deal a a change in the chemicals triggering the "reward" centers of our brains.^[34]
   Read more from here...
   

Bad habits?

Are these bad habits? If so, can you give them up?

1. Smoking

2. Swearing

3. Picking nose

4. Biting fingernails

5. Coffee/Tea

6.Snacking non-stop

7. Reality Television/too much TV
8. Fast Food
9. Alcohol
10. Comfort Shopping
11. Credit Cards/Overspending in general
12. Faceboo/Twitter
13. Fast food
14. Google

15. The gym
16. Sugar
17. Chocolate
18. Fizzy drinks
19. Stressful behaviour
20. Smartphones/ iPad
21. Meat
22. Video games
23. Cracking knuckles
24. Speaking with our mouths full
25. Talking to yourself
26. Use of American English
27. Sex
28. Childhood toy
29. Boiled sweets
30. Bread
31. Pasta
32. Dairy
33. Picking teeth in public
34. Shaving
35. Clubbing
36. Supporting a football team
37. Painkillers
38. Humming to yourself
39. Dyeing your hair
40. Tattoos
41. Piercings

42. Pets
43. Salt
44. Tomato Ketchup
45. Working
46. Chewing gum
47. Biting the ends of pens
48. Licking the spoon when baking
49. Road rage
50.Sunburn

What we are going to do in this post is take TEN of them and explain how to give them up!

Bad Habit: Snacking non-stop, even when not hungry.

Why It's Dangerous: Losing touch with your body's natural hunger and satisfaction signals can lead to chronic overeating and unhealthy extra pounds that can lead to diabetes, heart disease, and other serious conditions. If it's junk foods you snack on, you're also flooding your body with unhealthy ingredients.

Why You Should Stop: With determination, anyone can fix bad eating habits, and get to a healthier, more natural weight. By paying attention to your hunger signals and switching to healthy snacks, you can boost nutrition, control cravings, lose weight, and avoid energy slumps. Your weight will fall to a healthier level, and you'll replace unhealthy trans and saturated fat, sugar, refined carbohydrates, and extra sodium with more nutritious fare.

Reverse the Habit: 

 
- Reacquaint yourself with hunger: Wait to eat until your body is physically craving food.
- Stop eating before you're stuffed: Finish when you feel just a little bit full, you'll eat less this way.
- Eat for the right reason: Because you're hungry—not because you're stressed, bored, angry, or sad.
- Stop mindless eating: If snacking is an old, bad habit, ban unhealthy food from your home.
- Replace junk food with real food: Once you've cleared your pantry, stock your kitchen with fruits, veggies, nuts, and low-fat, whole-grain products.
- Plan snacks like you do meals: Eat your healthy snack on a plate, with a glass of water, and sit down at the table to enjoy it.

2. Bad Habit: Spending too much time on the couch watching TV.

Why It's Dangerous: The more TV you watch, the less physical activity you're getting, increasing your odds of being overweight and developing type 2 diabetes. A large-scale study of over 9000 people found that those who watched more than two hours of TV a day ate more, while downing more sugary soft drinks and high-fat, high-calorie, processed snack foods than those who watched less. If television is replacing time you'd spend on an old hobby, visiting friends, or exercising your mind, it can also speed up memory loss.

Why You Should Stop: By turning TV time into active time and committing to a healthy TV/activity balance, you can burn more calories, become more fit, and reduce your odds for related health problems quickly. You'll have a fitter body and more time for sleep, plus more energy, a better mood, sharper mind, and more social connections, which can even help you increase your self-confidence.

Reverse the Habit:

 
- Follow the 2/30 rule: That means no more than 2 hours of TV a day—and at least 30 minutes of exercise.
- Don't channel surf: Only turn the TV on when you have something specific to watch. Get out instead of searching mindlessly.
- Don't snack in front of the TV: It's far too easy to eat hundreds of calories' worth of chips and barely realize it.
- Exercise while you watch: Walk in place, do sit-ups, pushups, or drag your treadmill into the TV room.
- Clean during commercials: Avoid food commercials by emptying wastebaskets, vacuuming a room, or doing a load of laundry. It can add up to 20 minutes' worth of calorie-burning chore time everyday.
- Resolve to leave home more often: See more friends, do more interesting things, and stimulate your mind every day.

3. Bad Habit: Overspending your way into debt.

Why It's Dangerous: Money worries can have serious health consequences. In a Rutgers University telephone survey, responders said financial stress contributed to high blood pressure, depression, insomnia, headaches, digestion troubles, aches and pains, ulcers, excessive smoking and drinking, and gaining or losing weight.

Why You Should Stop: You'll regain a hold on your finances. It's tough, but getting yourself out of debt is a lot like losing weight. It takes time, can be hard on your ego and your lifestyle, you have to be constantly vigilant, and it's easy to revert back to old habits. But for those who succeed, and many people do, the results are stunning. You'll feel more in control of your life with less stress and fewer worries. You'll be able to sleep better, stop overeating, and have fewer headaches. Finding ways to curb your spending and focus on the simple joys in life will also help improve your relationships.

Reverse the Habit:
- Learn about money management: Educate yourself on the the basic rules and methods of personal finance—for credit cards, mortgages, budgeting, and investing.
- Freeze your credit cards: Literally. Put them in a cup, add water, and relegate them to the back of your freezer so you'll stop using them.
- Create a budget: How much money is coming in each month? How much are you spending on essentials, and how much frivolously? Keep track, and discover what you need to cut back on.
- Pay at least the monthly minimum on your bills: Prioritize paying more on the highest-interest credit card. Once you've paid it off, move on to the next worst.
- Automate good monthly habits: Use online banking to transfer some of your paychecks into a savings account, and set your bills to be paid automatically.
- Change money priorities: Stop shopping as a form of entertainment or distraction. Identify important things you'll need in the future and start savings programs for each.

4. Bad Habit: Eating too much fast food.

Why It's Dangerous: A steady diet of double cheeseburgers and fries washed down with an oversize soda or milkshake often leads to a bigger waistline and other related health problems, like heart disease and diabetes. Trans fat, often found in fast food, raises 'bad' cholesterol and blood fats that contribute to hardening of the arteries, as well as firing up inflammation, which contributes to the build-up of fatty plaque in artery walls.

Why You Should Stop: The health benefits of making the switch to healthy food will be immediate and substantial. Making a permanent lifestyle change won't be easy at first. Fast food is super-convenient, surprisingly inexpensive, and thanks to all its fat, salt, and sugar, undeniably tasty. Healthy eating takes more time and thought, and in some cases, more money. It's worth it though. In addition to losing extra weight, slimming your waistline, and protecting yourself from heart disease and diabetes, you'll save money if you prepare your own meals instead of buying fast food.

Reverse the Habit:
- Wean yourself off slowly: Cut back a little per week, and buy a little less each time you go.
- Switch to healthier menu options: Replace soda with coffee or water, burgers with grilled chicken, and fries with a salad.
- End impulse visits: Avoid popping into a fast food joint just because you walked or drove by one, especially if you aren't hungry or it isn't meal time.
- Switch to grocery stores: Hungry and need a fast meal? You can usually find healthier prepared meals at your local grocery store.
- Try a local sandwich shop: Walk into one and order a turkey on whole-wheat with a salad on the side.
- Make your own: Eat with confidence in your own kitchen, preparing yourself a healthy meal with last night's leftovers, adding a side of fruits and vegetables.

5. Bad Habit: Getting sunburned a few times every summer.

Why It's Dangerous: If you love sunbathing or make an effort to maintain a golden-bronze tan, you've unwittingly contributed to the aging of your skin. Sunbathing destroys the elastic fibers that keep skin looking firm and smooth, leading to earlier wrinkles, blotches, freckles, and discolorations. More importantly, sunburns contribute significantly to cancers of the skin. If you've added trips to the tanning salon, it's even worse. Despite what ads suggest, using tanning beds doesn't build up a 'safe' base tan. It actually raises your risk for skin cancer and wrinkles.

Why You Should Stop: Sun exposure, especially if your quest for the perfect tan has left you sunburned, damages skin in ways that can never be repaired or reversed. Avoiding additional burns can at least help you prevent further damage. Protecting your skin also results in softer, suppler skin with fewer wrinkles and less discoloration. 

But! Read this

6 Tips for Recovery:

- Schedule an annual skin check by a dermatologist: Your doctor will inspect your skin for any unusual changes, and take a small sample to determine the nature of the growth.
- Always wear sunscreen: Keep high SPF sunscreens near all your exits. It only takes about 30 seconds to apply.
- Stay safe in the sun: Stick to the shade, wear a hat, sunglasses, long sleeves and pants during peak sunburn hours.
- Get your glow with a self-tanner instead of the sun: You'll get the bronzed look without the cancer risk.
- Know a danger sign when you see it: Anything new that doesn't look right to you on your skin deserves to be checked by a doctor.
- Sip green tea: There's some evidence that green tea may protect your cells against cancer-causing sun damage.

6. Bad Habit: Behavior that leaves you angry, worried, or stressed all of the time.

Why it's Dangerous: An unhappy lifestyle releases a cascade of stress hormones that increase your blood pressure and blood sugar, lower immunity, slow digestion, and make you feel downright mean. Nature intended stress to be a short-lived fight-or-flight response to a threat, but modern life can lead to chronic stress and to far-reaching impacts on your health, such as increased risk of being overweight and overeating high-fat, sugary foods. Both raise your odds for heart disease and diabetes.

Why You Should Stop: Stress-reduction techniques have been proven to lower blood sugar, improve immunity, reduce depression, ease chronic pain, lower blood sugar, and possibly protect your heart, too. A regained sense of joy and control is worth its weight in gold, and the physical health benefits will be substantial as well.

Reverse the Habit:

 
- Learn to stop getting stressed so easily: How you react to triggers determines your stress level. Next time you feel a situation emerging, work hard at managing it and staying cool.
- Learn a formal stress-relief process: Among the most proven are yoga, meditation, and deep breathing.
- Rediscover optimism: Pessimism is a learned behavior. Regaining your sense of hope can go a long way toward stifling stress and regaining a sense of happiness.
- Eat healthy and exercise: A healthy lifestyle does wonders for your ability to manage stressful situations.
- Enjoy a relaxing hobby: Calm down by immersing yourself fully during your down time.
- Rediscover silliness: Remember than in every grown adult resides a young child. You're older, but you spirits doesn't have to be. Stop suppressing your sense of fun and silliness and remember to enjoy yourself.

7. Bad Habit: Skipping breakfast.

Why It's Dangerous: Skipping the first meal of the day can have serious consequences for your weight, your energy levels, and even your blood sugar. Munching a piece of morning toast or crunching a bowl of bran flakes signals to your metabolism that it's time to kick things up a notch. Skipping the fuel keeps your metabolism running on low, which can lead to weight gain and sluggishness. You'll also create a starve-now-indulge-later eating pattern, which is why breakfast-skippers tend to overeat later in the day.

Why You Should Stop: Starting a breakfast routine is easy. The moment you do, you take a major step towards fixing the problems skipping breakfast caused, including excess weight and unhealthy blood sugar swings. Eating breakfast will result in more stable blood sugar, which means fewer food cravings and hunger pangs later in the day. Because you're re-fueling your body early in the day, you'll also have more energy in the morning. You may find that you start to control your weight more easily, too.

But! read this!

Reverse the Habit:
- Work with your body: Not hungry first thing in the day? Wait and hour or two until you're ready to eat.
- Eat foods you like: No need to start the day with breakfast food. Have a sandwich, a bowl of soup, or last night's leftovers—whatever your pleasure is.
- No time? Make a portable breakfast sandwich: Bring along a piece of fruit, and maybe some milk in a coffee mug.
- Grab an energy bar and a cup of yogurt: Both are instantly ready, and together they are the perfect amount of nutrients and calories to start your day.
- Have a smoothie: Whirl low-fat yogurt, frozen berries, half a banana, a little OJ, and some honey in a blender. It's the ultimate healthy on-the-go breakfast.
- Set things up in advance: Prep breakfast the night before, so you can eat it at the kitchen table in 10 minutes or less.

8. Bad Habit: Drinking too much alcohol.

Why It's Dangerous: If you over-drink on a regular basis, alcohol can be a poison. Women who regularly consume two or more drinks a day and men who regularly down three or more are at higher risk for liver damage,  various cancers including those of the liver and mouth, high blood pressure, and depression. Women, who are more sensitive to alcohol, can also develop heart disease, brittle bones, and even memory loss.

Why You Should Stop: Soon after you cut back or quit, your digestion will improve and you'll sleep more soundly. Your blood sugar will be lower and steadier, your blood pressure may fall toward a healthier range, and even your brain will bounce back. You'll have a healthier liver and cardiovascular system. Since you're limiting your alcohol intake, you'll also be cutting your risk of being in a car accident. On top of feeling more energetic, you'll probably have better relationships with your family and friends, if drinking has caused problems in the past.

Reverse the Habit:
- Stick to healthy limits: That's two or less drinks per day for men, one for women.
- Reserve alcohol for meals: You're more likely to sip your drink slowly that way.
- Drink for flavor, not to get drunk: As an adult, you shouldn't drink to escape. Find a healthier coping mechanism.
- Can't stop? Acknowledge the addiction: Talk with your doctor and contact a support group like AA.
- Take screenings for bone density and cancers seriously: Check with your doctor if you should be screened more often.
- Liver damaged? Get a health plan: Talk to a doctor about a high-calorie diet to help your liver regenerate.

9. Bad Habit: Smoking cigarettes.

Why It's Dangerous: As far as health goes, no popular habit on Earth is as harmful. It directly causes 30 percent of heart disease deaths, 30 percent of cancer deaths, and a massive 80 to 90 percent of all lung cancers, not to mention increasing the risk of developing mouth, throat, and, bladder cancer. This bad habit also astronomically raises your odds for heart attacks, strokes, and high blood pressure, on top of possibly triggering or aggravating breathing problems like bronchitis and asthma attacks.

Why You Should Quit: The health benefits are almost immediate, because your lungs and cardiovascular system begin repairing themselves within minutes of your last cigarette. Within a month, your lungs will work better and you should be coughing less, feel more energetic, and have less shortness of breath. Quitting smoking significantly reduces threat of cancer or heart disease, improves your sense of taste and smell, and gives you better endurance. You'll also reap confidence-boosting rewards like fresher breath, younger-looking skin, and an end to that unpleasant tobacco smell on your clothes.

Reverse the Habit:
- Treat it like an addiction, not a habit: Before you stop, prepare for the tough road ahead. Prepare a strategy,a support team, and a Plan B if your first methods fail.
- Ask your doctor about a stop-smoking drug: Buprion and varenicline have been shown in studies to increase the chance for success.
- Get support: Enlist your friends and family. Counselors, hotlines, and support groups can also help.
- Time it right: Plan to quit during a calm period - not over the holidays or when you're under a lot of stress.
- Try 'nicotine fading': Use a nicotine patch or gum to help you gradually become accustomed to life without cigarettes and nicotine.
- Remember that a lapse isn't a failure: Use slip-ups to discover your personal obstacle to quitting and create a plan for dealing with those needs.

10. Bad Habit: Overusing pain killers and sedatives.

Why It's Dangerous: When they're not taken properly, long-term habitual use can cause more problems than it solves. Using drugs like ibuprofen or aspirin for arthritis or muscle pain can over time increase your risk for ulcers, gastrointestinal bleeding, high blood pressure, and heart attacks. Calming drugs and sleeping pills can leave you feeling confused and prone to stumbling and falling if you take them in higher-than-prescribed doses. Since they make you feel good, you may want to keep on taking them, turning them into a habit or addiction before you you know it.

Why You Should Stop: New pain-relief strategies can ease muscle, joint, and head pain with fewer pills and side effects. Kicking the sedative and prescription pain pill habit is possible with commitment and support, and once the pill-taking has ceased, your body will quickly rebound from their effects. You'll spend less money on medications. You may cut your risk for heart and high blood pressure problems as well as gastrointestinal ulcers and bleeding. You'll also be more alert and enjoy the satisfaction of knowing that you've beaten a drug dependency.

Reverse the Habit:
 
- Switch to acetominophen for chronic pain: It doesn't cause stomach irritation, and doesn't raise blood pressure like aspirin and ibuprofen. Save ibupofen for flare-ups of severe, short-term pain. It's usually safe for up to 10 days, but not more.
- For frequent headaches see your doctor: Migraines can be stopped quickly with the right medication.
- Check out alternate pain-relief strategies: Weight loss, exercise, stress relief and avoiding triggers can help.
- Don't take habit-forming drugs for over four months: Challenge your doctors when they want to put you on pain, mood, or sleeping medication long-term if you think you'll be susceptible to addiction—particularly if the drugs work well.
- Watch for hidden signs: Clues you're taking too much of a tranquilizer include memory loss, excess sleepiness, feeling unresponsive and falling frequently.
- Get help if you can't stop: There's no shame in asking for help from family members, friends, or your doctor.